Whod you bang
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
