I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
birth control should be required to get into college
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
