you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
