I met the friendliest cop last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Mom said you looked used
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
