I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
