yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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