Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
