Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
