are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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