Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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