Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
