Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
