In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
