Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
