I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
