Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
