Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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