Do vagina's smell?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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