And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
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For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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