4 words: hood of his car
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
