did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
