He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
