he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
