her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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