what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
