your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
