If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize