Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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