Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
