I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
