Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
