never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
