I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
