Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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