Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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