Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
