Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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