Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
