She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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