is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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