it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize