OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
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Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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