Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
