I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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