You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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