bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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