i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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