i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
