he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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