My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
