Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
