Screwed.edu
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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