are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
