FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
