Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
