I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
