i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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