i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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