Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
