just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we should paint friendship bongs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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