What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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