Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your penis caused this!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
