i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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