Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
