if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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