dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
