her vagine was all disorganized.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
