yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
