Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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